How I beat Depression

During my recovery from depression, I invested in self development. One of the beliefs I discovered is our emotional vessel. Everybody has one, but it’s not visible. We know it exists, as we feel emotions and it speaks to us in our self-talk. It’s where we hold emotions – both those which we view as positive and negative. Life offers many opportunities to experience emotions. Over time, these emotions build up within the vessel. When we release these emotions, we free up some more space.

Bottling up emotions

Often what happens, is we hold onto these emotions and they fill up the vessel. Particularly with powerful emotions, we shy away from expressing them – they may be painful, awkward, untimely. As we disregard the weight of these emotions, they are added to a vessel that is already filling up. There is no room to cope, no capacity to add nicer emotions such as happiness. The weight of these emotions leave us feeling fatigued. Exhausted minds leave no mind space – we’re unable to make decisions or think clearly.

Our vessel reaches close to capacity, meaning that when the next emotion gets added, we overflow. Our bodies are very clever machines.  They will help you to empty a little bit out of this vessel. Physically, we may experience tension in our muscles. Aches and pains are the emotions expressed as a strain we can feel. Every day has a potential to add stress, so when it’s full your body and mind may offer you a release.  When you blow up over something trivial, something insignificant, that helps. It reduces the emotions bubbling at the top of your emotional vessel, but it often comes with a bigger emotional load. Regret, shame or guilt replace the space you freed up, and so the cycle repeats.

You end up on this rollercoaster of feeling a little bit better, until it builds again. Without healthy methods of emotional expression, your body turns to the next thing that’s going to help with its release. Outbursts or tantrums are visible examples of releasing these pent up emotions. Drug or alcohol dependence offers an escape. But the emotions continue to build. They rise quickly, overflow our vessel and the result is an action.

Healthy expression of emotions

We need to understand how it feels to be ‘full’, and the difference it makes when we can regularly express emotions. Instead of retaining their power over us, a regular release allows us room in our emotional vessel. We don’t reach a point where it overflows and overwhelms us. The space allows us to feel joy, happiness, love. We free ourselves from emotional outbursts, tantrums or panic attacks.

Studying its patterns, its behaviours helped me to work out how I could conquer depression. When we’re experiencing poor mental health, it’s important that we allow ourselves the time to understand ourselves. Finding a way of expressing our emotions is vital. Working on my self esteem, and self awareness, gave me a new perspective. It’s a polar opposite to the view that depression had left me with, prior to this knowledge.  My opponent – Depression – had robbed me of my energy stores. My self esteem was in tatters, and my self talk was damaging. The emotions held in my vessel were manifesting physical pain and fatigue too. But I had found its weakness, and could fight back effectively.

Beat depression – for good

Of course, the change didn’t happen overnight. There were down days, and some better days. Gradually the balance came back, and with it a more healthier, positive way of living. Since then, I have supported others to beat their depression too. My experience has helped develop a new coaching programme, EmotionMind Dynamic. Using six principles, the coaching focuses on self development and greater awareness of your patterns of behaviours. Coaching offers support to make changes, and using the programme I have helped clients feel more in control of their lives.

I have a lot to be thankful for in my experience of depression. It may sound strange to say, but it taught me a lot about myself and others. It’s been an incredible and valuable journey. If you too are experiencing low moods or a lack of energy, as I was, try something new. Coaching worked for me, and for my son. I don’t live with depression anymore – I fought in a new way, and won.